Casino Comps=Ridiculous Eats

Hey Untrained Misfits, I’ve got to start of this post with an equation

A+B=B gets fucked
A=You
B=The Casino

I think you guys like that equation

Here’s the breakdown of what I got for my nice Valentine’s Day weekend meal.

Went to Simon Prime at the Hilton in Atlantic City. Yeah I know the hilton, i had to forge an AARP card just to get though the doors. They don’t have a person under the age of 65 trolling their hallways.

Appetizers:
Exhibit A
Rock Shrimp No Homo

Rock Shrimp, Mussels with not enough fucking bacon and a seafood platter with king crab legs, jumbo shrimp, oysters, lobster. The seafood platter is 72 bucks by itself. Yeah you know you want it.

Exhibit B:
Exhibit B
Potato Skins with bacon (Can’t get enough bacon), truffle butter (Yes keep hating) and aged cheddar. With another view of some oysters. I’m not down with oysters but you will laugh in a sec.

So before I get to the main course I’ll show you the before and after effects of oysters on my Untrained Lady. Shall we

Exhibit C:

Seems harmless enough doesn’t it

Exhibit D:

That’s the I fucking hate oysters look. She hated them the first time, she hated them this time and she will probably hate them the next time. I don’t blame her, it’s like eating your own snot.

So now its time for the MAIN COURSE!
Mind you there were four people there but I forgot what they had because I was drinking and reminiscing about the money I had fucking lost. Goddamn assholes. Learn how to fold your ten and two suited when I raise you pre flop ya jackass.

Exhibit E: The End Spot

Blacked Salmon with rock shrimp beurre blanc and baby spinach. For you uneducated fucks beurre blanc is a french cooking term and the most literal translation of it is “white butter”. “It’s a rich, hot butter sauce made with a reduction of vinegar and/or white wine (normally Muscadet) and grey shallots into which cold, whole butter is blended off the heat to prevent separation.” (Thanks Wikipedia) The side was truffled mac and cheese. I would hate on that meal too, if i wasn’t the one eating it so suck it.

That shit was awesome but I was already in such a food coma that i feel asleep in my booth. There was some dessert which I can’t remember due to my food stroke and the three or four Vodka Tonic’s did help.

So now everybody is wondering how do you get free meals at a casino. The trick to is ::DRUM ROLL::………….

LOSE A SHITLOAD OF MONEY.
Save your self the goddamn trouble and just pay the meal yourself. It doesn’t seem as cool but that 8,000 you lost last week doesn’t seem like a good idea when all you get out of it is a $500 meal and $120 room out of it. Do the math because I can’t do everything for you.

Granted the previous statement is an extreme exaggeration. Will some moderation and consistent trips out to Atlantic City or Las Vegas. Don’t include indian casinos because those motherfuckers ain’t giving you shit. You took their land and they aren’t giving it back. With some moderate playing you can get some cool shit back. Those casino’s can be your fantasy world or your worst fucking nightmare so don’t be a fucking dummy.

Well till next time my Untrained Misfits

-Untrained Dude

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